Filed under: treat theory | Tags: 16", 17", 18", 19", blue, green, moped, motorcycle, orange, red, tire, tires, trim, wall, white, yellow
new tire trims are in, you can have white wall any type of tire you wish. some dreams will come true. colorful dreams, will come to life. more colors on the way. for now a variety in the 18″ size and all the 17″ white walls you could want. thin, fat, wide, trim, yellow, 16″, 19″!! for mopeds, yes. for motorcycles, yeah and giant moped and other two wheeled creations.
Filed under: AMAZING TALES, things from my fridge, treat lore, treat theory | Tags: boris portnoy, ca, famous treats!, pizza & pig, SF, star chef, star chef my love, star cheffin, treats gang
in this installment of the treats gang famous treats series we have boris portnoy, our very own beloved star chef! ya gotta watch a silly ad for a few seconds before you get to see our star chef in action, enjoy!
How to Make Pumpkin Pie with Boris Portnoy
By Meredith Arthur and Eric Slatkin

http://www.chow.com/stories/11950
Filed under: AMAZING TALES, beasts, stoney, treat lore, treat theory | Tags: famous treats of the 20th century, magic, magik, meet a treat, my love, stoney
http://articles.latimes.com/1993-08-16/local/me-24414_1_corona-del-mar
CORONA DEL MAR – Boy to Take Magic Act to White House
At the dinner table, the 78-pound magician eats with a card palmed in one hand. His bedroom is full of magic trunks, jackets with hidden pockets and ketchup bottles that he can make disappear.
On Aug. 24, Erik is scheduled to perform at a White House luncheon to be attended by Vice President Al Gore.
“I am a bit nervous,” he said of the performance in the nation’s capital. “I hope I do a really good job at it.”
Even if he flubs a trick, Erik added, he still gets a private tour of the White House and FBI headquarters.
“Not many people get to do that,” he said.
After seeing Harry Blackstone Jr. perform about three years ago, Erik said, he bought magic books and taught himself enough simple tricks to venture into public. He started on a street corner near his house in Corona del Mar.
“Nobody would look at me at first,” he said of those early days. “But then I started asking people if they wanted to see a magic trick. They would stop, and a crowd would watch.”
Erik made $200 in his first two nights on the street corner.
With that, he invested in more magic books and props and business cards. Last year, Erik auditioned at the exclusive Magic Castle in Hollywood, a club for working magicians, which lowered its minimum age from 14 to 12 so he could become a member.
Since then, he has attended magic camps for youths while making money performing at birthday parties, grand openings and the like. He has managed to invent new tricks, hire a publicist and bank much of his earnings.
“He is about halfway to a new car at the moment,” said his mother, Cheryl Miller. “And he is not even 13 yet.”
Last Wednesday, Erik tuned up his act before about 100 people at the Oakwood Apartments in Anaheim. His specialty is close-up magic, partly because he cannot project his voice to a roomful of people.
Wearing a blue sports coat with deep interior pockets, he roamed through the audience doing a series of card tricks.
In one trick, he held out three playing cards, two blank and one three of diamonds, to which he fastened a paper clip. Erik put one card in a box, the paper-clipped three of diamonds under someone’s hand and the third car face down on the table.
When the cards were flipped, the paper-clipped card had become blank and the three of diamonds appeared in the box.
Erik’s mother, who drives him from performance to performance, usually stays out of sight when he works a room.
“This is the time to go from boy to man without Mommy around,” Miller said. “Every kid wants to be good at something, find their niche. This is his niche.”
Erik starts seventh grade in the fall and has already begun saving for the day he hopes to enroll at Harvard University. His ultimate goal is to be “the best magician in the world.”
“I know I set that goal high,” he said, “but that is what I want to do.”
Miller says that kind of determination keeps Erik up at night. “I have to go up and tell him to put down the magic books and turn out his lights,” she said.

Filed under: AMAZING TALES, beasts, sale happy time!!!!, things from my fridge, treat lore, treat theory | Tags: dosa, i love dosas, masala dosa, no double couponin even tho i love to, paper dosa, sale, treatssssssss

ohh my! we’re going to have a sale! we can’t remember why! I think its because we’re celebrating the 33rd month of treatlands existence in the world? and 33 is a magic number and we like magik! maybe it was because we love sales as much as everyone else? hey can anyone out there remind me why we’re having this sale? oh its for all you treat lovers who spent allllll your cash on halloween candy? its because you, our loves, deserve a sale? its because the rally in austin was lotsa fun n this is a good way to say thanks? its because today is a wonderful day? man, i really don’t know, but the point is there is a SALE 11% off from the strike of midnight on friday thru till monday midnight. We’re sending this lil note in advance so you can plan accordingly and not stress out that you missed the sale. As always if you try to double discount and ya get busted then we’re going to come find you, i.e. this sale code is not valid for stores. the coupon code to use is ‘dosa’ one of my favorite treats, find one if ya can in the world. so set yer alarms for 12:01AM friday, thats about 1 minute after thursday in case ya didn’t know?as always thanks my loves from all of us in treatland for your continued support, its ammmmaazing all the rad new things we’ve been able to find and create because of all your help. so many more insane parts on the way all the time, so many things never seen before in this world or the next? love — benji rufus jimmy n renee yay!




so do you get it? the code word for yer discount is ….. “dosa” !!!
Filed under: beasts | Tags: black, cold, endless summer, fingers, frozen, glove, gloves, hand, leather, riding a moped in the rain, season, white
it’s that time of year, when your fingers get cold. and it’s always that time of year, for wearing gloves. always wear yer glove, where ever you may find it. protect your hands, they are your advantage over the beasts of the earth. many strange designs, la la la la lola, n roaxane. bob n jake, white n black, dear and goat, cow or fowl.
Filed under: AMAZING TALES | Tags: moped, motobecane, peugeot, treats, turkey, turkish
Filed under: AMAZING TALES | Tags: brooklyn, gang, gate, moped, motobecane, new, orphanage, orphans, vacation, york
the best vacation yet, always on vacation, summer ,winter, fall, it’s nice out. go for a ride into the country side. mopeds to see, around the world, around the corner, mopeds to ride. part one, brooklyn, new york, manhattan, lower east side, times square, williamsburg, bushwish, panic in needle park, old friends, new friends. some shows seen and others missed, drinks and trains, car service, cash, beacons plaza, closet. . . jen and i are on our way to istanbul
we wander through borough park back in time to eastern europe and stumble upon the gates of motobecane.
in greenpoint we stop by the orphanage to try to get a job
but they don’t hire hippies, fun times are had in greenpoint none the less, orphans are gracious hosts and are always welcome in the kingdom of treatland.
Filed under: AMAZING TALES, spendin what ya dont got oh joy, treat lore, treat theory | Tags: 80% off coupons are dreamy, don kill my high man, roosevelt tamale parlor, treatin, treatin in sf, treats gang
since its obvious I am in this moped gang called TREATS gang and we like to eat TREATS it was with great excitement today I discovered this website that was having a sale and their coupon code was, um, “treats”. In keeping with the great spirit o treats and eating ourselves into comas, this existence on affordable moped parts and succulent tasty treats at inconceivable prices, I have to admit I really like coupons and sales. If you’ve shopped at this store, oh whats it called? treatland.tv or something? you’ll know we like coupons, discounts, deals, sales, bargains and anything else even remotely similar. so while I am hesitant to inform you cause this treatin scam does have its numerous lines of fine print, I felt it my duty to reveal a secret of fine treatin in SF. lets say for instance you wanted to go to the roosevelt tamale parlor for lunch with your lover, because oh my the treats there are amazing, but ya got no cash? or maybe you want a senegalese feast? or a sumptuous afghan banquet to remind you of long ago unrequited love…here is my advice to you, go to this website restaurant.com, find this aforementioned tamale parlor, buy a $15 coupon for $10, use the coupon code “treats” which is an 80% off coupon (b quick) and watch that $10 turn to $2. note its for lunch only, and minimum purchase of $15 (don’t forget to tip dummies). so run yer bill up to $15 on treats,no liquors girls, and you’ll pay $7+tip. and there you have a delicious half price treat fest. be careful of all the fine print, don’t click on anything funny (use paypal for safety), and be alert, like yer on a battlefield or running a pyramid scheme or makin a deal for 2000 fake rolex watches in an alley off 6th st at 3am with some zombies. Then you have a happy lover, a full belly, more money to spend on moped parts and well the day seems a little sunnier doesn’t it all of a sudden. if ya fuck it up, yer a sucker. myself I stocked up on like $200 worth of coupons to take all my lovers and friends and stuff them for like $17. score. there’s like a million lame restaurants, a few dreamy ones n be quick cause the 80% coupon won’t last for long n read the fine print again ya? or else. not a coupon for treatland, but a coupon for treats this week my loves. happy treating my sf darlings. oh i guess elsewhere to, and again don’t blame me if ya get scammed, my belly will be full and i don want ya to kill my high. man i love coupons, i have the hugest stack for rainbow 20% off yeahh! ok maybe a real treatland coupon someday again, one day perhaps, in the meantime prepare for a brief missive and photo fun from rufus and enjoy this photo of what treat gnomes do at night.
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Filed under: AMAZING TALES, treat lore, treat theory | Tags: lazy bones, roofie, triple penetration, triple variation, turkey, witch, zambia
hey! roofie is on vacation in turkey !! yeah have fun roofie we miss you and send you lots of kisses. I heard this amazing 70s zambian record last night, its rad. i know you’ll like it. bring us back like something that triple variates ok? and enjoy your vacation, you’ve earned it my darling like ten million times over.
Filed under: AMAZING TALES, treat lore, treat theory | Tags: more no, no 8 tracks, no no, no nothing, no.
thanks sir lux for thee sign n jona for the derbi


























