treats flash

more treats in treatland – satellite republic

once again the land of treats births another moped capable of making actual treats … rumors pass through the kingdom that perhaps the true nature of mopeds is, asides from blastin, actually making tasty treats. oh who woulda thought.

this is a star chef, cheffin

remember when we thought the point of mopeds was to get to the treats faster, how does that work when the moped is aaaa makin the treats?  this one even has a tandoor oven built into it. i always wanted one of those in my backyard, i gotta get a backyard first though i guess.

it even has a tandoor, oh boy

this is a flat bread cookin in a tandoor!!!! treat out!

one thing i know so far, the treat capable mopeds sure aren’t moving too fast, so even the slowest batavus will be able to hunt down any treat mobiles.  did i actually see new parts in treatland that are not new cylinders or new pipes, no new mag wheels or carbs but the much talked about maxi conversion kit for turning any maxi (newport, s, k, II, n, nostalgia only) into hi speed treat making devices? I think i did? well, for sure tomorrow at the kingdoms sister store NO. (389 VALENCIA) you can enjoy treats made by our very own star chef, and you can read all about it and more here.

this is a sandwich!! looks like CLUB GEORGIAN TACO to me tho!!

this is a sandwich!! looks like CLUB GEORGIAN TACO to me tho!!

readers of one of my favorite books ever, flatbreads and flavors, will already be well versed on the kachapuri made by our beloved star chef.

this is imeruli khachipuri, with adjika on top

this is imeruli khachipuri, with adjika on top!!!!!

what we’re all really waitin for though is the rumored late summer face off between treat grasso’s ciao porter 64cc treat machine and star chef’s minarelli V1 80cc satellite republic, total treat out.

this is a treat machine, it makes tacos!!

this is a treat machine, it makes tacos!!

the big question though on the grease smacked lips of all is what will happen if the dark horse treat, brandi, and his maxi tri rad appear, this could throw the city into a treating frenzy it might perhaps not recover from.


friday night bedtime story in treatland (taken from the reviews)

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the trail tech digital temperature gauge. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky. In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there was one only. This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints, so I said to the trail tech digital temperature gauge, “You promised me trail tech digital temperature gauge, that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?” The trail tech digital temperature gauge replied, “The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I carried you.”

hmm. perfect, good work jonathan ackerman! 100 tacos is blessed upon you.

treatland reviews – wealth of knowledge or pure drivel?

a wealth of knowledge of course ya rat. i’ve long been meaning to distill our reviews into a weekly digest that is yeah uh more digestible? but ya know that would be a pretty almighty task that would keep me up into the late hours and further rot my already rotten mind. anyway lets see what happens when i start writing real quick all this amazing knowledge the people have shared with, well, the people! yeahh! good work !! all distilled knowledge shall end with precisely two exclamation points as everyone should be excited and read about these discoveries jumping up and down.

magik eagle brakes fit on honda hobbit rear wheels !!

if i ever buy another tomos the tecno circuit pipe is the first thing i will buy!!

powerdynamo puch ignition is expensive as hell but its fucking worth it. mounts easily to a derbi and ya can blind people with your lights !!

za50 shift dampeners are a must!!

the KENDA K657 good for racing and “that shit sticks!”!!

put the chrome skull grips on your moped if you are a demon hunter or dog the bounty hunter!!

the kryptonite new york chain doubles as a self defense weapon!!

the weakends V1 intake is so sexy and has a perfect angle to the right!!

everyone loves the puch treat reed kit, especially with a larger reed block!!

mikunis take the lead over all other carbs, who knew a carb could be so loved and adored!!

#58 jet 4 lyfe!!

domino throttles are a great solution to short pullin mbk throttles!!

having the right puller makes an impossible task happen easily in seconds. ;-)!!

motoseal grey sauce seals it all!! like half of my e50 is held together by this stuff!! case halvez, intakez, clutch coverz!!

puch mvt premium fits on sachs 505 – bright lights, high rpmz, its shiny. also, your going to think im crazy but… it also randomly teleports you to the future!!

if you have a sachs, no matter the cylinder size, you want a mike thomas PHBG intake!!

puch maxi crossbars bolt right up to hobbits too!!

puch tecno circuit pipe is an easy mount on minarelli V1 and sounds like a tinny robot!!

(oh editors note, one of my personal favorites reproduced in its entirety is next!)

Yeah, I’m posting similar comments on ALL of the clear float bowls. Wanna fight about it? These things are NOT intended to be used long term on your carb. Why would you want to run it long term? You wanna get acquainted face-to-face with every gallon of Dino juice you run through the carb? These are a tool for setting your float level and maybe briefly troubleshooting a running problem. At most you should only ever have to run the engine with this thing on the carb for a minute or two. Then, when you are done, you are supposed to take it back off and put it in your toolbox and put your stock float bowl back on. If your carb works fine, doesn’t have any bad habits, you have no use for this. If you are mounting your carb at some funky angle, then you probably need this to get the float level set properly, but that doesn’t mean you need to (or even should) run it permanently.

puch metrakit super wowie, richmond winters are mild and i don’t have a car!! so i went to hell and back on this cylinder!!

andrew wk is going to denver to learn how to party harder from blk blk

the peugeot 103 malossi cdi is a killer cdi, and has even been tested on humans! not animals! too bad its discontinued!!

get better pegs bro!!

the puller set is like buying a moped club…IN A BOX!!11! Once word gets out that you have whatever puller anybody could need, everyone will be hanging out at your house to tune! Throw lavish magneto parties! YEAH!!

I drank too much then ordered these. One won’t turn on, one won’t turn off. If for some reason you drink and then order too, then you are better off getting one of the other motion lights available!!

This CDI is real nice. Hobbit points are real solid. It’s no secret- but when they crap out it sucks. Points die, or wear out and secretly advance your timing or whatever. I like CDI. First off this thing needs a few more puzzle pieces. The stator is a bolt on ordeal. The taper flange needed to hold the points flywheel on is the same as the one needed for this so that’s easy. The woody key is also recycled. Next you’ll need a control box. —- This one should do it. Unlimited revving box for hondas and honda clone CDIs. You’ll need to hook it all up with this and you’ll need a universal high tension coil and boot plug from treats or wherever. Setting it up is pretty simple. For that see my UB blog on it. !!

oh fuck yeah, Will run on garbage juice if necessary.  Oh, and it’s loud.  My neighbor thought God and Johnny Cash were both coming through the wall!!

homoet tomos a35 pipe Eventually took me to 59MPH after alot of work. Top end power is smooth.

you would have to hit something BIG to pop the shinko sr244 !!

blkblkconnor  – i gots me one of these. fed me for weeks. and it was amazing!!

I didn’t know hutchinson made ped tires. Only ones I ever owned were on a bicycle. Took a chance and put a set on my Zundapp. Before they got ‘dirty’ I had all kinds of debris sticking to them. Can attest to the fact that they have a high coefficient of friction after one of those ‘oh shit’ moments when some soccer mom with a cell phone planted in her ear turned out in front of me. These tires have more grip than I have guts to test them!!

I love the tomos airsal 70cc cylinder.  period.  mated with a jcams 20mm mikuni, Motomatic destroyer, Malossi 4-petal, 28×20 gearing and go 60+.  No need for porting if you know how to tune.  Have fun!!!

I must say its a very nice looking air filter. The nicest thing on my bike! It barely clears the weld on the frame on a 1996 tomos targa but once i put the clamp on upside down it seems to fit perfect…It did make a whistling noice for the first week tho so that sucked balls and wieners!!

Hand cut Jimmy foam for the malossi E12 PHBG filter!! 99 cents!! I am going to insulate my house out of these things after i put one on all my mopeds.. I love Jimmy foam!!

probably the finest piece of metal crush gasketry i have ever purchased in my life!!

I got these pro grips and planned on them being yellow like it said. I got em and they were puke brownish hope that’s the look you are going for!!

running the yellow springs on my hobbit daily driver. puts me just into the power band. easy to put on too!!

k thats enough for now, as editor i used my creative license to, yes, edit. more soooon enjoy!!! xo


club taco 3% off + 13% weekend sale


what is club taco

oh joy oh happy day, now every $ ya spend in thee kingdom gets ya a taco, n one taco is worth oh my around 3 pennies thats like 3% off all the time, so wild man. you know you could alllllmost buy a taco somewhere in the world with 3 pennies, oh ok thats a dream maybe 25 of em. think of it as like a big pile of tacos slowly accumulating in your garage that you can actually trade in for something, but don’t worry we’re not going to clutter your already trashed garage with piles of tacos we’re going to stock everyone’s tacos in a highly guarded bunker 312 feet below san francisco with our wizards guarding it. you know if there was a currency of the moped world it would be something like tacos right? big platters of tacos, piles of them, slowly building up until the world is covered in taco taco. hmm.

your club taco instructions go like this:
    • once you’ve placed your order and paid for it, your pile of tacos will be updated.
    • enter the total amount (in tacos) you’d like to redeem below (33 tacos = $1).
    • click the button like this one below that will ya know, turn tacos to golden pieces

    • on your next order you’ll see your tacos change to $s off automatically, our wizards will make this all happen without you even having to give them a tip, the spells cast. so cool.

    • keep in mind that the tacos you change into dollars don’t add onto your taco pile when you spend them, got it?

    • take a look here for your club taco !!! adventure page

    • count how many times the word taco is used on this page if you want a fun game to play with your friends, but you’re out of tacos

As an added weekend bonus use the coupon code “clubtaco” to get 13% off your order. enjoy !!